Hello, this is God speaking. Here is a small feedback form I'm sending for my bhakts via the channel of Rediff. This feedback will help me serve all my loyal customers better, so please try to answer honestly:
1. How did you come to know about me and my services?
-- From the newspapers, TV or Internet.
-- From any fraudulent Guru who claims to know all about Me.
-- In my mom's lap.
2. How did you develop so deep love, faith and respect for me?
-- I fear something terrible could happen if I disrespect you.
-- I'm only faking it -- even to myself.
-- All others were doing it, so I too did it.
3. Why do you worship me blindly, and never criticise me for anything?
-- Frankly, I do it to gain favours with you.
-- I have a slave mentality, how can a slave criticise his master?
-- Never thought of criticizing you -- infact I never think anyway.
4. Have you ever thought that you don't know a s**t about God, and you're just hallucinating?
-- I told you I never think.
-- Don't try to provoke me by telling me that I'm a fool.
-- No sir, you know I'm your greatest bhakt, even if you make fun of me or kill me.
5. Do you really think I like dishonest sycophants, or I like those who are honest enough to question my existence and demand proof from me?
-- I told you I never think.
-- You s.o.b., go to hell.
-- (Lying prostate in the mud): God, I'm dishonest, I'm a sinner, I'm a criminal, I submit myself before you, forgive me, forgive me ... (Lies upon lies upon lies) ...
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